the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
