He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
