I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
