I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
