Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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