How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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