omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
