Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
