She said her name was "party"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
