I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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