I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
