Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
