I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
