Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Randomize