Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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