and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
