his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
