Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
