The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Found the puke drawer
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize