oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
