We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you traded sex for a burrito?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Randomize