It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just invented taco cereal.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
