Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Someone came in the potted fern
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
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