Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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