I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
