Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize