dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
