obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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