Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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