another moral hangover. fuck.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
