I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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