I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
