i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
