I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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