i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
