Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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