my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
