NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
