Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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