I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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