My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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