i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
