i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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