so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
it was like having sex with a tree stump
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
