She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
