i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
