He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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