Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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