yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
