OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
