guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
