Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
