This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
