Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
They are going to name an STD after you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You are a genius and a whore.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
