He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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