Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
