I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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