Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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