Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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