I wish my penis had an off switch
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize