Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
