he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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