Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
