Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
