I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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